The Truth about Japanese Bondage

Surf the Internet in search of "Japanese bondage" to find an answer to the question "where did it come from". Guess what, you will get at least a hundred different answers and a couple of thousands compilations of these.

The following may be a stunning fact but ....... the problem is there hardly is any Japanese bondage history. And most certainly not a linear one.

You see, like almost all erotic styles, games and techniques, Japanese bondage is a compilation of many techniques and influences. And unfortunately - as is often the case - there are many pseudo-experts in the field.

Fancy words and mysticism

Let us start with some facts: probably the oldest written documentation about sexuality and forms of restraint, pain and the impulses that come with this is the KamaSutra. No, that is not an ancient sex/book, but actually a book of wisdom. It dates back to several thousands of years before Christ and Vatsyayana, the monk that wrote the book, actually did little more than writing down what had been oral teachings until that point for thousands of years.

Sexuality is an important - one of three actually - pillars under Veda, the mother-wisdom of both Hinduism and Buddhism. In short, Veda acknowledges the three areas of wisdom: sexuality, social/economical and spiritual. From there the knowledge spread out, mainly accros the orient. And the knowledge adapted and changed according to local, regional differences, development and increasing insights.

I will spare you the hundreds of different forms and shapes, both Buddhism and Hinduism have taken since.

Enter "martial arts".

Fighting is as old as mankind. So is sexuality. So is spirituality. All three usually go hand in hand. Power eroticises and reproduction is important to the species. All three are about life and death, the eternal cycle the cosmos revolves around. And all three will sooner or later - in some combination - find their way to the bedroom, to legislation and to "crowd control" (or social or religious control if you like).

Mystifying and using fancy words is an important part of all this. If I know something you do not I have better chances and better chances in love and in bed. This is the thing that has brought entire kingdoms to enormous success and to their knees.

Modern day sexuality

Let us take a giant leap into the contemporary world of iPods, Internet, cellphones, fast cars and television.

Two things have changed dramatically over the last decades. One: people have lost touch with their roots and as a result you see an increasing in spirituality. Two: anyone can be almost anything and mass-communicate that over the Internet in seconds. Remember: "I know something you do not" has been an important power-instrument ever since the first ape started to walk on twe legs.

So, what do you do to "sound important"? You either find something that not many people know about, or you simply invent or modify something. It happens everywhere. The "financial world" largely revolves around rumours and expectations. "Wine connaisseurs" seem to have forgotten that wine in its essence is a simple, yet enjoyable beverage made from grapes or other fruits. And sex is no different.

The reality of Japanese bondage

Japanese bondage (a.k.a. Shibari, a.k.a. Kinbaku-bi) has many, many different influences. In contemporary Japanese bondage you will find influences from 12th century Japanese theater, from the geisha culture, from other art forms, from a 17th century suicide ritual, from Buddhism, from Ki-energy manipulation (best known as acupuncture), from several different oriental cultures and from martial arts. In other words, it has no linear history - it is an evolving thing.

Back to your Internet search. What you will soon see is that there are fierce debates going on about who has the "real knowledge". Well, that is the Internet for you. Remember the old joke about how many chatbox members it takes to change a light bulb? (hundreds, most of them discussing the correct spelling of the word light bulb).

It is like the wise man said - all religions hold a small piece of the actual truth, no has all of it, neither the exclusive rights to it.

Internet Dating Sites That Work With Divorced Men And Women

After, in most of cases, painful divorce, custody battles and heart brakes, how do you even think about dating someone new?

Your whole world is collapsed, and you do not feel like a person anymore.
You are torn by betrayal, disappointments, frustrations and dissatisfaction about your personal life! You have to embrace new life style, not only to learn to be with out the person you spent a great chunk of your life with, but also learning to "share" your kids!

At this point, who in there right mind even thinking about bringing another person in their life, or tried to be all happy and available, when your mind is always tense and your life is in turmoil!
The first part is to figure out your responsibilities with your former life partner, and possibly find the way to make it peaceful. However, I realize that in most of situations, the bitterness takes over, and the couples become mad and uncompromising!

Unfortunately, any kind of aggravation that comes with divorce will always rub off on your kids, even if you hold everything back in their presence! Kids are smarter than you think! They feel everything. They came from you, you know, so they know exactly what is going on.
So, once you have figured out your burdens of obligations, and have had an opportunity to settle in on your own, then you can start thinking about dating someone new.

For most of people, dating after divorce may seem very discouraging, because of many reasons, such as: fear of starting another relationship, that may end up in break up and
hearting your feelings again; fear of meeting inadequate people; no motivation to start the dating process, by joining all kinds of dating services, going on blind dates, or randomly meet people anywhere.

Furthermore, what makes dating after divorce even less motivating, is having your kids introduced in to your new "hunting for someone" life style, and finding someone
suitable for you and them.

I would like to say that every person is different in the way they handle the relationship and break up; but we all end up at some point in the search for the mister or misses right!
So, the dating for divorces 101 would teach this:

1. Do not be afraid to meet new people; there are a lot of men and women like you, who are looking for the same things; and not all of them are demented and insane.


2. Try to meet people who have already gone through divorce and have kids.
It will definitely break a lot of barriers in regards to your "baggage". You will feel equal, and will most likely gain an understanding from another person who's faced with the same issues every day.


3. Do not decry yourself, and do not minimize your own importance and value,
due to divorce and having kids. Some people feel that their expectations about dating, should be lower then someone who is single, and never been married.
Your personal situation should not afflict your dating and your choices of men or women you meet.


4. Consider dating someone who doesn't have kids, or ever been married.
This is a difficult decision for someone to make about dating someone with kids, however some people do not mind the role. They may even bring something new and fresh in to your relationship with you and your kids. A happy, caring and kind person may even be able soften the hard edges of the typical divorced environment you are in.
Overall, the person who will enter in to this kind of relationship will have to assume the position of the step parent; and you need to realize, that it is because of you, and that this person wants to be in your life for a long time.


5. For both men and women. No matter how difficult it is to find someone, or how enormously hard to date, do not join the "drama club".
Try to eliminate or lessen the amount of pity you may be getting from your friends and family. Support is very important, and if you are blessed with a great family and friends, who can help you , it is priceless.
However, in some occasions the long and exhausting conversations about your ex can make you feel even more aggravated and angry.
Try to stay positive at all times, and do not loose hope of getting over it and finding some new.


6. If you are spiritual, and faith is a part of your everyday life, and your kids, it is helpful to join spiritual support groups and organizations. It could lead you to
meeting interesting people, making new friends and even finding a life partner.


7. It is very beneficial to join online dating service, to find someone in your residential area to date. The online dating service became number one source for meeting singles. There are various websites available today which offer a large database of singles; dating tips and advice; great places to meet singles in your area. Many singles have used the dating services, and there are many success stories, and of course many nightmares. You have to take the online dating experience with its good and bad. As they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince or princess. Give it a chance, you may b surprised as to how many single parents are out there, may be even living in your area, who you never met and are available and looking for a life partner.


8. Do not get disappointed if you don't find someone right a way, and do not let
yourself hindered from searching for your new love partner.
It could take some time, before you find someone, and before you let some in to you heart; so be patient and just enjoy life.

There is always someone for everyone. You may be dating for a while before you actually get someone you are very compatible with.
I know many happy couples who have gotten married after divorce and after many years of dating; so open yourself for new possibilities and take a chance!

How To Approach Women Who Are Out Of Your League

Have you ever had the opportunity to approach a woman who was out of your league?

Do you want to know how to approach a woman who is out of your league?

If you answered yes to either one of these questions, the truth of the matter is there is no good or correct way for you to approach a woman who is out of your league. Even if there was it wouldn't do you any good because quite frankly she is out of your league.

Hopefully, you have already begun to realize how you can approach women who were out of your league.

Now, if you haven't already begun to realize how, let me be the first to tell you.

As long as you believe a woman is out of your league you will not attract her, no matter how far from the truth it may be.

Once you realize that a woman who is out of your league does not exist, it is then that you can begin to have the women that you desire.

Now, it is possible that as you begin approaching these women you might discover every now and then that a particular woman isn't really your type.

Yet, this article is only dealing with how to approach women who are out of your league. Which we both have already established doesn't even exist.

Then again, knowing what now know you might soon discover that when it comes to women you are way out of their league when it comes to being with you.

Russian Single Girls - Between Heaven And Hell

Russian women have always been considered hot. This is provoked by their tremendous efforts to be at the top, working hard and looking carefully after their visual appearance and Lolita behaviour.

Modern Russian single girls are mixture of mutually exclusive conceptions. They are romantic and pragmatic, naive and prudent, chaste and seductive. This mixture of virtues is making them extremely desired by men who once familiar with them can not stop thinking of them.

Young ladies today do not have much of the so called traditional philosophy of their mothers and grandmothers. Quite early they learn to take advantage of seduction and successfully use it as a tool to get to your heart and maybe break it into pieces.

Russian single girls know how to capture attention. They optimize and show off their amazingly fit figures by choosing the most audacious dress-code and behaviour. Almost all of them have natural intellect which is mixed with good professional education: arts or business, they are good in it.

A little after they pass their 21st birthdays they start to realize that time is passing and they are getting older. They know that age will change their body, will make it less attractive and appealing and this tempts them to be even more aggressive in attempts to get your attention.

Many young single girls are looking for older wealthy men who will guarantee a happy-go-lucky life. First they start with small requests such as asking him to pay her mobile phone bill and thus giving her the chance to call him more often. Then showing him around for a shopping tour in shops where expensive and world-famous brands are prominently placed.

Perfumes, jewelry, shoes, coats, purses, make up, soon your vocabulary will enriched with dozens of words meaning just a simple bra and at the same time your bank account will become drained. During this process men never complain because Russians know how to use their charm in a charismatic way.

Fidelity? Young Russian single girls will expect it from you but perhaps will feel free to explore other men's worlds and wealth. They will do their best and will not stop until they find a super Forbes top's millionaire who they will bewitch with well learned lolita like behaviour.

For women there are two good reasons to be married. First of them is called money, second is called freedom. In Russia there are still traditions in family which force the young girls to come home early and to be careful who they are going to meet or sleep with. Fathers' rules sometimes are severe and girls might be punished for not obeying them. Once married to anyone, the woman becomes a problem only to her husband and then she feels free to do whatever she wants to by cheating on him. Until she finds another.

Of course, not every young Russian single girl is like that, but many of them are, which goes back to the question of why an 18 year old girl would want to marry a 50 year old man? Must be his personality of course!

10 Important Tips For Your Blind Date

10. Plan for a night far away…

While you may plan to go on a date to the movies and have a quiet date, the blind date you are hooked up with may end up being a partier and want to go dancing or something else so planning ahead is necessary.

9. Be cautious of the wordplay you use

Men should be listening to the women more then having the women listen to the men. However, what you say will lay a first impression on her and to quote a famous comedian, Chris Rock, "A girl will decide within the first 30 seconds whether or not she will sleep with you."

8. Put your attention on her

Men really do need to stop talking, shut their pie-hole and listen to what the women have to say on the date. "Ohh, I got a luxurious boat out in California and I make $200,000 a year working for …" really doesn't flatter the ladies. To get a girl interested in you, you have to listen to what she is saying. Also discuss issues like work, family, friends, and various other more personal topics. Regardless, you should never make her feel uncomfortable about anything because this is a friendly occasion.

7. No Interrogations

If you wish to do well on your date then you have to have great conversations with her. Never ask her questions that will have one of the following three responses: yes, no, I don't know. Ask her questions which will start a good conversation and get a nice answer that interests you, and show your interest.

6. Make her your spotlight

Never let your eyes leave her (and I don't mean her double decker, I'm talking about eye contact). You want to make sure you don't "check out" other women while with her or spend time with other friends that may be there or on your phone.

5. Don't try to show off

Whatever you do, don't go out of your way to flash your gold chains or brag about your luxurious items. While living the life may be a turn on, it can make the date go downhill very fast as she may be thinking, "What a selfish jerk". Also, do not show off all your money (unless your date is with a gold digger or a prostitute). If you're so rich then either use debit or bills under 100. Don't purposely go out of your way for her to see something valuable that you own.

4. Be Aware of What You May Get

When going on a blind date, you never know what you will get. While you may be wishing to get a real hot piece of tail at the end of the night, or a great relationship started, you may end up with a huge girl who honks and snorts the night away. Never expect the best, just cope with what you get. The date is for only one night, not a lifetime.

3. Watch out for a Controlling or Crazy Girl/Guy

If either party is rather psychotic, demanding, or aggressive then leaving may be the right thing to do, and do so immediately. It is not worth risking being taking advantage of or left in a dead end relationship. Also try to fend away from those in a questionable relationship at the time.

2. Plan Your Escape

Make sure you have a plan on how to get out of the date if it either goes downhill, you don't like the person or you really regret doing it.

1. Be The Leader

The final tip is for you to be the leader. Men should always take the leadership role so they are proven to be more masculine. Whether it's asking for a dance, being the first to start a conversation, or initiating a kiss, it is all stuff that shows your manly side by the end of the night.

Is It Fatal Attraction – 5 Warning Signs

Some of us get into relationships where we're pretty much destroying each because we ignore initial warning signs that the person we're attracted to is an emotional train wreck or ticking time bomb.

Very often we are swept off our feet by the physical, mental or sexual attraction only to end up heartbroken, angry, bitter, revengeful or caught up in an emotional roller coaster.

These five warning signs will help you tell right from the beginning if he/she is an emotional train wreck or ticking time bomb:

1. Has shallow emotions – He/she is quick to share too much early in the relationship or say "I Love You" or want to marry or commit to you. Typically, in less than a few weeks of dating you'll hear that you're the love of his/her life, he/she wants to be with you forever, and he/she wants to marry you. You'll be showered with instant attraction, endearing names and overwhelmed with attention and promises. Remember the old saying "If it's too good to be true it probably is (too good to be true)!" The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later causes him/her to detach from you as quickly as he/she committed.

2. Cannot handle emotions - He/she is easily overwhelmed emotionally and holds grudges, clings to bitterness, cannot handle frustration, criticism or rejection. In the first few dates you will frequently hear stories of what others do or did to him/her and how "evil" the world is etc. But these stories quickly turn to what you are doing or not doing that is hurting him/her emotionally. The relationship becomes one of blaming, accusing, arguing, explaining yourself, defending yourself, trying to talk him/her into feeling differently about this or that etc. You feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells

3. Shows no emotions – He/she doesn't get emotionally involved, isn't emotionally expressive (e.g. finds it hard to get excited about things) and doesn't sympathize with other people's pain. Coldly put, he/she is emotionally bland and cold. From the very first date, he/she will toy with your emotions - he/she shows up late, promises to call you but doesn't, agrees to meet and "forgets" to call you to cancel, "forgets" things that are important to you etc. Most of the time you feel uncertain where he/she stands in regards to his/her feelings for you. He/she when confronted may admit that he/she really has no feeling towards you – and does so very coldly.

4. Prone to emotional outburst (short fuse)- He/she blows up easily - shouts at or is rude to a waiter/waitress, customer service people, others drivers and even perfect strangers or does dangerous things, like driving too fast because he/she is mad, breaking/throwing things, getting into fights, threatening others etc. He/she is clearly letting you know that he/she has that ability and capability - and that it might come your way. There will come a time when he/she has no one to let out his/her temper on and you are the obvious soft and easy target. And it is not just men. Women may not necessarily be physical with their temper, but every sentence she speaks and the many lies she can invent are equally hurtful.

5. Uses emotions to manipulate - He/she creates situations in which he/she becomes the centre of attention - everything is exaggerated and distorted to dramatic proportions. This playing victim such as being persecuted by others ("I am a very misunderstood person"); feigning or exaggerating illness or causing or inviting injury (e.g. shows up with bruises and cuts and expects you to feel bad for him/her and even take care of the injury) etc. You find yourself spending all your time trying to make him/her feel good about him or herself. The more attention you give the more schemes he/she comes up with. It's like trying to fill up a bottomless pit!

Take some words of wisdom from someone who's been there: if it doesn't fit - don't force it.

If you are emotionally healthy yourself your emotions are your energy sources for making good decisions, reading and dealing effectively with other people's feelings, optimizing your ability to have healthy relationships, enjoying work and taking pleasure in life.

Dating Succes Tips - How You Find A Date In Your Own Neighborhood or Region?

Although sometimes we realize that we live in a small world and have a lot of potential dating partners around us, we don't seem to succeed in dating people who live close to us. We seem to only be able to date people that live far away from us and this has a negative effect on the relationship you find out sooner or later. It's much easier to date someone close to home, but which ways are there to find dates close to your crib?

First of all there are the traditional media: bars, sports clubs, discos, etc. More targeted meeting places are dating pubs, singles clubs, chat cafés and so on. Here you make a good chance to meet someone from your region, city or even neighborhood. This drastically increases your chances of getting to know the person. It also gets interesting quite soon, as in our current society we hardly know people from our own town or village even if they're small. You'll find it entertaining to get to know somebody from who you discover lives two blocks from your place and that you've never seen before. So go out to that bar nearby to socialize!

Another well know but sometimes forgotten method are classifieds or contact ads. You find them in the local newspaper and it's a very comfortable way of dating. You can make a good selection beforehand. Althow a short ad doesn't contain a lot of information on first sight, the way the person presents himself says alot of things about him. Take a look at which contact ads you like and take a look if they seem honest or creative, then you can even make up an ad of your own and put it in the dating classifieds section of a local magazine. Give it a try! It's always amusing, interesting and exiting to see which people contact you.

On the internet dating is one of the most popular activities. On every dating site you normally can look for dating partners based on the area they live in. At times you can enter your zip code and then the site displays the distance between you every time you look at a profile. Here too the chances of meeting somebody are big, because some sites have millions of members!

Are you rather passive, than you can make a real good dating profile and write that you only want to date people in a circle of 50 kilometers around you. This way you let others look for you!